Colors
by lifelong potterhead
Summary: Percico soulmate AU. The day Nico met him, he finally saw color. The day he fell into Tartarus, the colors disappeared.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Percy Jackson.

 _ **Colors**_

 _ **Chapter 1**_

Nico had always seen the world in black and white. The greyish hues that covered the world were constant and unwavering.

The day Nico met him changed his life. He was only ten at the time, and claimed to be scared of the manticore who posed as his teacher. In reality, he was scared of the change. He did not know what it meant to have his world burst into color, turning everything around him into bright hues. The color was new, different, and terrifying. And yet, he wasn't cared with Percy next to him.

The day that he heard of Bianca's death was heartbreaking. Percy had promised, _promised_ to keep her safe. He decided that day that he hated Percy. He couldn't handle life without Bianca, and to know that it had been Percy's fault…

After that day, the colors were less bright and distinguished. Nico began to wear black, to match the darker colors he saw. The change made him miserable, and neither Percy nor Bianca were there to help him. He had no one.

The day that Percy fell into Tartarus devastated Nico. He watched Percy's face contort into agony as he tried to hold on to the edge of the pit. Nico promised to meet him at the Doors of Death, knowing in his heart that Percy wouldn't make it. Nico watched Percy's body as he fell down, deep into Tartarus. As Percy fell, the color started to leak out of the world. Nico knew when Percy hit the bottom of the pit, as everything became black and white once more.

 **A/N**

This is a Percico soulmate AU, like the ones you see on tumblr in which their ability to see color depends on whether or not they have met their soulmate.

It probably sucks and the first chapter is very short but this will probably get better.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Percy Jackson why do you think I write fanfic. Also I guess this chapter has some internalized homophobia so trigger warning.

 _ **Chapter 2**_

Nico hated the waiting most of all. He tried to be helpful, to aid his friends in finding the entrance to the doors of death. He could never manage to focus, though, his thoughts always lingering on Percy. Beautiful, amazing, wonderful Percy who was as good as dead.

Nico knew that Percy wasn't dead, as his ability as a child of Hades told him that Percy was alive, but Nico knew naught of Percy's condition. Nico was terrified, the lack of color in his world was unkind to him. After seeing color for so long, Nico could hardly bear to live without it.

He had read about the sudden appearance of color after meeting a specific person, and he was aware that it meant one had met their soulmate. The fact that his soulmate was a man was hard enough to deal with, as he spent years in an intense bout of self-loathing. He knew it was a horrid thing to fall in love with one of the same gender, it was unnatural and just _wrong._ He could never tell anyone, never allow people to know of his disgusting secret. He couldn't stop his feelings though, no matter how many times he cried himself to sleep thinking of what people would say, what _Percy_ would say if they found out that he had fallen in love with a boy.

After watching Percy fall, the thought that he had just watched his soulmate fall into an inescapable pit clasped him, and the moment he was alone he sobbed. His soulmate had just been given a death sentence, but at the same time Nico was happy because he no longer had an awful secret; he could fall in love with a girl and be _normal_. No matter how his chest constricted with pain, and how many times he told himself that he would never be able to see color once Percy died, he could not stop his feelings of relief at the certain death of his friend.

Once Nico realized that percy was with Annabeth, he believed that Percy could make it. After all, Nico himself had survived Tartarus, and Percy would be perfectly capable of surviving with her at his side. Percy was a strong demigod, he would be fine, Nico hoped. After all, Percy didn't love Nico the way Nico loved Percy, so he probably would still be able to see colors. He wouldn't be affected by their separation, so Nico knew Percy would survive. Annabeth and Percy were obviously soulmates, it was evident in the way they looked at each other. Nico was nothing to Percy, a mere annoyance at best. Percy would be fine; Percy would survive. Nico wasn't quite sure if the same could be said for himself.

 **A/N- So how was it?**

These chapters are probably all going to be pretty short, as I haven't read HoH in a while and I am just going to have this story be from Nico's perspective. I don't really remember a lot about this part so I will probably skim a PDF of the book before the next chapter. As you can probably see, this story is going to be full of feels. I was going to say something else and I totally forgot what it was. Uh- please review so I know what I should put in this story.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

 __Nico was sleeping in his bed when it happened. He lost the ability to sense Percy's soul.

He may as well have been stabbed, the pain in his heart was so intense. He had thought that he would never see Percy again, but the reality had never hit him, had never slammed into him so forcefully that he was left gasping for breath, before that moment. He had thought the colors were gone before, but everything just then was left hazy and blurry, as though Percy's loss had forced his eyes to cease functioning.

It wasn't long before the tears came. His face burned with the agony and the humiliation of his tears, his weakness. He shouldn't have loved Percy, a _man_ , but his skin was left dampened with the tear tracks nonetheless. He hadn't thought it would hurt so, to lose someone he had spent so long denying his _revolting_ attraction for. Nico couldn't breathe, couldn't _think._ The man he had loved had just left to Elysium, whilst he was surely damned to the Fields of Punishment for loving said man. He would never see Percy again.

That thought brought a fresh wave of tears spilling out his eyes, soaking his skin and scraping his throat with his wretched sobs. The darkness around him was distorted from the tears, and he was left swimming in blackness, unable to figure out which direction was up. He was drowning in his sorrow, struggling to catch his breath and finding nothing to ground him, to propel him towards the surface. He was well and truly lost in his misery, broken and cold. Even when he was in Tartarus, he had never felt such pain, such _misery._ The river Cocutys was more joyful than this moment, and even when he had been sinking into its murky depths, oxygen had been closer to his reach. He felt closer to drowning now than when he had laid at the bottom of that river and watched the current nearly steal his life away. It was ironic: then, the thing that had saved him was Percy. Now it was the thing that destroyed him.

His tears eventually lulled him back to sleep, but even his dreams had forgotten the color that Percy had brought to his life. Even in his sleep he was left blinded, robbed of his sight of virtually anything. All he saw was black, but he heard snarling behind him. He didn't know where he was, but Percy's lost seemed to have left him completely blind, stumbling among the monsters and trying to run for whatever life he had left.

Unbeknownst to Nico, Percy ran through the house of Nyx, surrounded by suffocating blackness, sprinting from the sounds of the monsters chasing him. Percy gripped Annabeth's hand harder, and colors danced across the inside of his eyelids, providing him with a rush of calm amongst the chaos.

And even while using Annabeth's hand as a lifeline, he still felt as though he was slipping into the black. He felt an unexplainable aching in his chest, that drove his thoughts to the Argo II, and Nico. He somehow wondered about the kid's wellbeing, even though he was running for his life in the literal pit of hell.

He held on to his soulmate's hand tighter, hoping both of them would survive the jump so that they could stay together. He didn't think he would be able to stand losing the colors Annabeth brought him, especially not in Tartarus.

 **A/N**

Well, oddly enough, this story is getting more follows/faves for the amount of chapters I have written compared to all of my others... which is weird because this was just like something that struck me in the moment…

Also I made a few grammatical errors in the past few chapters and the grammar snob in me is just screaming about it so sorry about that.

Anyways, how was it? Feel free to leave a review.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

Nico awoke in a panic, grasping for the memories of colors that he could not see. He hardly registered his now awake state; even though it was light out, everything held a dark tinge that made some objects too colorless to even distinguish. His breath came in strangled gasps, and he recalled that _Percy was gone._ Forever. He would never be able to see his soulmate again, and was confined to the hell that was losing the colors in his world.

He stumbled out of bed, vowing to attempt to do something productive, like helping the rest of the seven find the House of Hades. He managed to find a mirror, and discovered that he looked a mess. His hair was sticking up at odd angles, and ugly tear tracks stained his face. He could hardly see the details of his face in the mirror, his face a dark enough color to blur his features. He assumed that his face was red, as it certainly felt so.

With a shout of anger, Nico threw the mirror across the room as hard as he could, taking satisfaction in the sound of the glass shattering and the handle splintering with the impact.

He quickly grabbed a random shirt and pants, and tried his best to wipe away all evidence of his tears. Nico knew he had to carry on as though nothing was wrong. No one knew of his _connection_ with Percy, and it needed to stay that way. The less the others suspected of his attraction to a man, the better things would be.

He slowly walked up towards the common area of the ship, attempting to prepare himself for contacting the others after Percy's death. He would have to tell them about the death of Percy, and hell, Annabeth, but not now. It would be better for them to have hope, than to completely destroy all of them. They still needed to save the world from Gaea, after all.

He stalked into the dining area with a scowl on his face, grabbing some food absentmindedly, although he felt sick to his stomach. The others were already in the room, and were oddly somber and quiet after the loss of two of their own.

Leo looked Nico up and down. "What, are you colorblind?" He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Nico's eyes flew open at the comment. Was it really that obvious? Did Leo _know_? His mouth felt dry, and he couldn't swallow. He hardly felt that he could move.

He contorted his terrified look into a glare that had sent many people running from him in the past. Leo just raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Got a problem, Death-boy?"

"Yeah, I've got a problem. You." Nico growled out, pushing Leo out of the way and slamming him into the wall before nearly sprinting back to his room, leaving the others with baffled expressions on their faces.

Nico didn't know how he could have messed up so badly in such little time. All he knew was that his life was falling apart, he was nearly blind and kept tripping over everything, and Percy was dead.

He buried his head under a pillow and tried to block out his thoughts. He silently cursed the Gods, the Fates, and anyone who could possibly be responsible for all of the crap in his life. The pain of it all was so intense, he probably dug up some skeletons miles below him.

Tears resurfaced in his eyes, and he wished there was something, _anything_ that could take the pain away. He didn't care about the quest anymore, he would gladly let Gaea destroy all of humanity if he could just be at peace. The rest of the people on the quest could do it alone. They didn't need Nico anyway.

 **A/N**

I really love Leo, but I wanted to show the relationship between Leo and Nico and how Leo's joking manner could affect their interactions. I'm not trying to paint Leo as like evil or conniving and trying to give Nico pain, but he merely made a tasteless joke, like he sometimes did in canon. So anyway, please review! (This story is getting pretty popular too for some reason, so I hope I met your expectations.)


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

A few days later, Nico had grown bored of wallowing in his misery in his dark room, and finally resolved to try social interaction again. He truged up the stairs, contemplating his future with the rest of the demigods. They obviously had a horrid and fractured relationship with him, and quite honestly, Nico wasn't sure that he wanted to continue to stay on the ship. He could easily shadow travel away and disregard the fate of the world. He could reside with his father in the Underworld, and leave the planet to the fate that Gaea would subject it to.

And yet, he was a bit reluctant to allow the human race to become extinct, when he could help, or at least try to help, prevent it. And if he happened to die along the way, well, that wouldn't be awful. No one would miss him, and he certainly wouldn't miss his life without Percy.

Nico wandered to the deck, not making a noise, hoping to remain unnoticed. He allowed himself to blend into the shadows, hardly even there. The colorless ocean was quite daunting, and he realized how many colors he had taken for granted that were now gone. With a sigh, he turned, thinking that he might leave the ship. The others had said something about New Rome, and it wasn't every day one got to see an ancient Roman city.

Nico was so caught in his thoughts, that he walked right into Jason, his golden hair now appearing white. Nico hadn't noticed it before, but seeing a young person with completely white hair was shocking to him, and felt like a punch to the gut.

"Oh, hey Nico." Jason spoke, "Haven't seen you in a while." Nico wasn't quite sure if his tone was accusing or questioning, so he chose to brush it off as a rhetorical statement. "We have a ghost to find here in New Rome. I need your help."

Nico reluctantly agreed, but was slightly grateful that he could do something useful. Ghosts were more interesting than live people, anyway.

Once in New Rome, they discovered an angel. Nico could tell by the feeling that its soul radiated that the creature was not a returned soul from the underworld. Nico sprinted after Jason once it fled, not wanting to lose the trail of the angel.

Nico nearly lost it when Jason picked him up. Not only was he not used to physical touch, but the loneliness that he had been feeling since losing his soulmate left him vulnerable and off of his guard. The feeling of warm skin touching him, when he was a child of the underworld, used to dwelling with ghosts, was incredibly discomforting. He would never admit it, but in his shock Nico let out a startled scream that probably had Jason wondering what was _wrong_ with him. Nico wished he knew.

When they finally landed, Nico nearly let out a gasp when he realized where they were. _Diocletian's residence._ He recalled this place from when he was a kid, with Bianca. He growled a threat at Jason, before returning to stare in wonder at the atrium. It didn't look any different than before, as he hadn't been able to see colors as a child, but he still felt the part of him that was missing, when he couldn't see such a beautiful place in all its colorful glory.

And then, of course, Jason had to make small talk about his past. About _Bianca._ Nico wanted no part of that conversation, and his emotional turmoil over Percy was already wearing him thin. He gave a few short, disgruntled answers to satisfy Jason, before turning his eyes to the various pissed off ghosts that were watching them. His voice had tensed when Percy was mentioned, but he managed to hold it together. He couldn't show weakness in front of others, he had to act like Percy's death didn't affect him. At all.

Nico pointed out some of the various ruins of Greek statues and temples to Jason, but when he found that they were to be led underground, began to panic. Ever since he had been to Tartarus, ever since Percy fell, he had been terrified of the underground. He felt that it was going to trap him in, that he would be buried under tons of dirt, that he would become trapped, too far to call for help, and suffocate under the dirt. Fear gripped him, and he thought for a moment that a knife had been plunged into his stomach. He had a very bad feeling about the entire situation, but still he carried on, instead of running to the shadows like his mind begged him to. He tried to smile at Jason, to make it seem like he enjoyed the earth, like he used to, but it came out as more of a twisted grimace.

The voice of the angel didn't startle Nico, as he had already been on the lookout for enemies that he knew were to appear. He did, however, take a step back in fear once he found that he was facing the god Favonius. His master, Cupid, terrified Nico. He explained who Favonius worked for to Jason with a shaky breath, but when the god mentioned that he had been watching Nico, he felt sick to his stomach. _No, that couldn't be. He was going to expose Nico's secret._

When the god stated that the one he cared for the most had fallen to Tartarus, Nico thought his knees were going to collapse out from under him. His hands were shaking, and breathing became a bit of a struggle to continue. He wanted to escape through the bars of the windows. Even his dreary, colorless world was millions of times better than being forced to confess to Jason that he loved a _man_ , and Percy at that. Gods, the loss of the colors in his life was bad enough, couldn't the Fates allow him to go five minutes without some sort of horrid emotional turmoil? It seemed not.

He told Favonius to just take them to the love god. The faster he could get over with it, the better. He was starting to wish he had just shadow travelled away when he had the chance, but at this point, he was too frazzled to attempt it.

By the time they reached Cupid's residence, Nico was terrified out of his mind. His entire body was shaking with fear, and his powers began to lash out, as though trying to provide him with the oxygen he suddenly found out of his reach. When Favonius mentioned that Cupid would make his fate worse than eternal servitude if he didn't tell Jason about his soulmate, he nearly blacked out from the lack of air in his lungs.

As Cupid began to attack them, Nico ran for his life, still too out of it to actually defend himself, and escaped by dodging the murderous arrows, swinging his sword with trembling arms. Nico nearly screamed in pain when Cupid's arrow hit his shoulder, and colors flashed in front of his eyes. He let out a quiet sob as the arrow faded, and everything became black and white once more.

He eventually screamed at the god to stop, after watching Jason's body become bloodied and bruised. Even if he didn't like the guy, he didn't want to see him killed. When Cupid called him a coward, Nico accidentally spawned an army of the dead in his pain. He already knew that he was a coward, that he was broken and disgusting, but he would rather be physically stabbed than have someone else point out that fact.

Nico was so scared, he was so ashamed that his soulmate was a man, that he loved a man, who was now dead because Nico couldn't move fast enough. He was a disgusting freak; no one cared about him. He was better off away from the camps, better off facing monsters alone, always on the run. It was what he deserved for loving a man.

The moment that he told Jason of his love for Percy, he felt hot, wet tears flood his eyes and trail down his face. He collapsed to his knees, letting his skeletons fall to the earth. He curled himself into a ball, not looking at Cupid or that stupid scepter. Sobs racked his body, and he tried to stifle them on his jeans, but the flow of water seemed endless.

"Nico, it's okay." spoke Jason, cautiously.

"N-no it isn't!" Nico screamed, his voice raw. "Percy isn't just some crush. He's my s-soulm-mate. And now he's dead because I was too slow to catch him!"

Nico hadn't meant to tell Jason everything like that, but he couldn't hold it in anymore. He thought that his emotions might physically shatter him if he tried to block them out for much longer.

Jason didn't say anything for a while, and Nico was afraid that he had run off and left Nico in Rome. He didn't look up to see if Jason was there, instead choosing to embrace the comforting darkness that his eyelids provided, trying to ignore the shame fuelled tears that burned his skin.

"Nico," Jason spoke softly, putting a light touch on his shoulder, "it's okay. Soulmates are meant for each other, and there is nothing wrong with having one, even if they are the same gender as you."

"N-no, it's not okay. It's disgusting, to be matched with another man. And even if it was okay, he is still soulmates with Annabeth. Not that that matters! He died a few days ago! I felt it! Annabeth too! It's all my fault that he died, i could have made it in time to save them. I'm better off dead too!" Nico looked up, finally glancing at Jason, but his vision was too obscured by tears to see Jason's reaction. Nico could feel himself falling apart, shattering himself with each word he spoke.

"There is nothing disgusting about being matched to another person. Soulmates are created by Aphrodite based on people's compatibility, not on their gender. And yeah, sometimes people have two soulmates, according to myth." He paused and sighed, still processing what Nico said. "I-I'm really sorry. About all of this. It'll all be okay."

Jason grabbed Nico's hand and pulled him up. "Do you want to fly back, or are you okay enough to shadow travel?"

"Shadow travel." Nico whispered, running his hands through his hair.

 **A/N**

Wow, that was a long chapter for this story. I really want to focus on the relationship between Nico and the rest of the seven after this, and the relationship between Jason and Nico, so this was a pretty important piece for developing that. I need to fix the things that Rick fucked up with because I swear he just totally forgot about character development during the last two books. I am also going to put a lot of emphasis on the percico relationship once Percy escapes Tartarus. I'm not quite sure where I am going to fit Annabeth into this, but I will think of something to make it seem logical. I might, _might_ continue this into BOO to fix like everything, and also wait I just thought of what to do with this plot!

Thank you guys for all the support that this story is getting, honestly it makes my day everytime I get a follower/favorite email from this site!


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

Nico crashed to the deck of the ship, pulling Jason down with him. He was an emotional and physical wreck, and his shaking legs hardly allowed him to stand. The shadow travel certainly didn't help, taking away what little energy he had left. He wanted to just curl up on the deck and fall asleep, but of course the Fates wouldn't allow that.

Jason stood up, pulling Nico unwillingly to his feet. Zoning out and trying to focus on staying standing, Nico hardly noticed when Jason led him over to a chair in the dining area and sat him down. He let his head fall onto the table, wanting to fall asleep more than anything. He didn't want to think about what he had just told Jason, and he certainly didn't want to entertain the thought of having anyone else find out.

That sudden thought was like a jolt of caffeine, and Nico jumped up with such urgency that he nearly fell over in the chair. As it was, the strength seemed to have sapped from his body, and he almost slumped back onto the table. Jason tried to help him gain control of his unstable movements, and Nico flinched away. _What if Jason told the others?_ What if they found out about his awful secret? Sure, Jason was fine with it, but the others might not be.

"P-please don't tell the others," He managed to stutter out, choking on the bile that rose in his throat.

Jason's response was cut off by the arrival of Piper. "Tell us what?" She questioned, staring at Nico intently. It was then that he realized he must look a disheveled mess, but that thought did not quell his growing anxiety at the question.

"N-n-nothing," He whispered. Well, that wasn't suspicious at all.

She raised an eyebrow, and Nico tried to shrink in on himself. Maybe if he ignored her, she would stop asking questions.

Jason stared at him intently, and he swallowed, hard. "Really, there's nothing."

Piper didn't look convinced. "If you say so," She responded. Nico knew that the conversation wasn't over, and the thought filled him with fear.

By the time the group finally confronted him about the issue, he had nearly forgotten about his conversation with her. No one brought up the subject again until dinner several nights later, one of the few times he actually ended up eating a meal with the other demigods.

"So Nico, what were you so upset about the other day?" Asked Hazel; Nico froze at the question.

"I told Piper it was nothing. Just drop it!" He hissed, feeling as though he had been punched in the gut. Piper had told the others!

His response just increased the concern of the others. "Nico, that doesn't sound like nothing," Hazel responded worriedly.

"Well nothing happened." Nico's eyes flickered to Jason, but his plea for help went unnoticed by Jason. The others, however, noticed. Suddenly everyone was looking at Jason, and Nico knew his secret wouldn't last. Jason couldn't stand up to his girlfriend. He would cave like a poorly built house of cards.

"Jason, what happened with Nico?" Asked Piper, gazing at her boyfriend intently. Nico wanted to run, to hide, to disappear. There weren't enough shadows in the room for Nico to shadow travel, and he was terrified.

Jason locked eyes with Nico, and he knew his secret was only going to last a few more moments. Nico hung his head, not wanting to see their looks of disgust when they found out that his soulmate was another man.

"Well, uh, well, Nico are you sure you don't want to tell them yourself?" Jason said, scratching the back of his neck and looking slightly guilty.

Nico shook his head. He couldn't bear to tell the others. As it was, he could hardly bear to be in the room when his secret was revealed.

"Percy is dead, and if that wasn't bad enough, he was Nico's soulmate."

The silence after Jason's statement was deafening. Nico could feel the others turn their gaze back to him. A tear slid down his cheek, and in moments he was sobbing. Someone placed a hand on his shoulder, and Nico flinched violently. He lost his balance on the chair and fell to the floor, shaking. Nico pushed himself into the darkened corner, seeing naught but darkness from his tears.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I'm such a f-freak!" He whispered, unable to keep the terrified stutter out of his voice.

"Nico!" A voice cut through his sobs and whimpers, "You are not a freak, Nico. It is perfectly normal for people to have soulmates that are the same gender! It just means that my mom knows you are perfect together and should spend your lives together. Being gay isn't disgusting. A lot of people are gay, and most of society accepts it now."Nico opened his eyes to see Piper crouching next to him and _smiling_.

Nico stared at her in shock for a few moments before responding, "B-but what am I supposed to do now? I can't see anything anymore, but that doesn't matter because Percy is dead! I felt it!"

A somber silence fell over the group with the declaration of Percy's death. Every one of the remaining demigods knew that it meant that Annabeth was dead too. Two of the most important people to their group were dead. They were on their own and down two members. The quest was doomed to fail, and with that failure, destroy the world.

It was Leo who finally broke the silence.

"What do you mean that you can't see anymore? Are you blind or something?" His questions were met with strange looks from the others. "What?" Leo asked, a confused expression adorning his face.

"You don't know about soulmates?" Piper asked, confusion evident in her voice.

"Soulmates? Those are just a myth. And why would it have anything to do with his vision?"

"My mother provides people with a person that fits with them perfectly and that is meant to be their partner for life. She lets people know who this is by not allowing them to see color until they meet their soulmate or after their soulmate dies. It's beautiful and horrific, showing how love can benefit someone's life and then destroy it."

"Well that sounds like bullshit. I have always been able to see color." Responded Leo.

"Oh, you must be one of the aromantics. They are people without soulmates. They are complete without another. They can always see in color." Piper spoke. "What? I read a lot about my mother."

"Huh." Leo seemed lost in thought, an expression which looked quite strange on the normally joking demigod's face. He suddenly looked down at Nico's slumped form, "Nico, I'm really sorry about my comment the other day, I-I didn't know."

If anyone seemed perturbed by Leo's odd behavior, they didn't mention it. Nico looked up for a moment, before dropping his tear stained face again to look at the ground. He curled in on himself a little more, and the awkwardly melancholic silence returned.

The demigods began to filter out of the room, leaving to process their own grief, Nico was glad; he didn't want anyone around anyway.

Exhausted, Nico collapsed inward on himself, no longer bothering to attempt to fight gravity. He fell asleep, alone on the hard floor, tear tracks still lining his face.

 **A/N**

That was supposed to be fluff, and I failed miserably. Oh well. Sorry it's been so long, but I kinda took like 2 months off of writing just because I kept forgetting to do it… Also I'm sorry if it's a bit incoherent, it's 2 am and normally i would have one to bed 3 hours ago. This chapter probably sucks, but it by some miracle my exhaustion fueled garbage isn't awful, that's great!


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